How to Avoid a More Complicated Divorce

Even the most amicable of divorces can turn into a nightmare, if just from a technical perspective. Divorces take time and come with a myriad of official procedures that you have to follow, with it not being too uncommon for people to find themselves confronting a situation they didn’t even realize would be an issue. To keep things as straightforward as possible, let’s go over some of the things you need to avoid so that your divorce proceedings can run along as smoothly and effortlessly as possible.


Not Taking Legal Aid Seriously:

Even if you’ve been completely caught off guard by your spouse’s request for a divorce, you need to go ahead and contact an attorney – not a few weeks from now, but right now. The longer you wait to get a good divorce lawyer, the more complicated and stressful things are going to be later down the road.

You need to speak with an attorney in order to find out all of the things you need to provide a court and all of the little things you need to start taking care of in order to avoid dealing with a major crisis.  

Don’t make the mistake of keeping things from your attorney, either. You need to think of your lawyers as your greatest weapon or your greatest security tool, as they’re going to be the ones that get you what you need and that keep you from getting trapped in different pitfalls.  However, they can’t help you avoid these pitfalls if there are aspects of your life/marriage that you haven’t fully disclosed to them. A good lawyer can construct a solid case in your favor regarding anything and everything, but they can’t construct anything to your advantage regarding a situation you haven’t told them about. In this event, you’re going to find yourself in the middle of court with your lawyer at a complete disadvantage, and you losing face in front of a judge.

Getting Carried Away with Money:

This is definitely not the time to take on any unnecessary debt. Unless you’re looking for a loan that will provide you a place to live, leave loan and other credit applications alone. Taking on more debt or maintaining excessive spending habits is only going to make you look financial unreliable to a divorce court.  

If you’re looking for a certain amount of alimony or child support, then habits like this are going to definitely jeopardize the outcome of your suit. A judge is likely to look over your case and feel that you’re only asking for these set amounts in order to maintain an extravagant lifestyle, in which case you’re likely to be rewarded far less, if anything.

Social Media and Other Communications:

No one needs to know your business, and you certainly don’t need an official record of it floating around out there just to find its way into court with you. Refrain from discussing anything regarding your divorce proceedings on social media.

If you have family and friends that you want to keep in the loop, or who need to remain updated on events, then you need to discuss the situation with them in person or over the phone.  The things you post on Facebook, Twitter, etc. are most certainly going to find their way back to your spouse, who in turn may use these as potent weapons against you in court.

Along this same line, be mindful of the things you send to your spouse and others regarding the situation, whether they’re text messages, emails, or anything else. In turn, you need to be keeping careful documentation of all of the correspondence you’ve had between yourself and your spouse.  

It’s likely that you may end up with a record of a conversation that sways the court in your favor regarding certain issues. This is also precisely why you need to refrain from any sort of hostile or inappropriate communications between yourself and your spouse, as these will most certainly come back to haunt you.

Trying to Cheat Your Spouse:

No matter how angry or bitter you are over the divorce, don’t think that you should cheat your spouse out of money, possessions, or other assets. As clever as you think you are, it’s likely that your spouse’s divorce lawyer is just as clever. Incorrectly claiming things on tax returns, hiding possessions that you know are rightfully theirs, or liquidating assets that either belong entirely to them or should at least be split with them, are not only going to complicate your divorce proceedings, but may end up bringing you greater legal – even criminal – woes.

Your Kids Aren’t Your Weapons:

Trying to use your kids as a means to get back at your spouse isn’t a road you want to travel down. Not only is this going to bring more immediate hurt to your children, it’s also going to cause more long-term effects – such as damaging your own relationship with them.  

Divorce judges have absolutely no tolerance for children being used as pawns in a divorce, and child custody judges are no different. You’re likely to find yourself losing a lot of the things you’ve worked hard to get out of your divorce, including your kids. If you restrict your spouse’s access to the children without any legal reason in place, then you’re running the risk of having your custody challenged.

Bringing Your New Romantic Interest into the Picture:

You may be ready to move on and find happiness elsewhere, and that’s understandable, but your new romantic interest has no place in the divorce proceedings. The key rule to keep in mind here is that you need to resolve the previous relationship first, before bringing the new relationship into the forefront.  

Parading a new love interest in front of your ex is likely going to get them pretty angry, especially if they’ve been around your kids as well. This anger is going to show itself in court as they escalate their efforts to deny you the things for which you’re asking, as well as hamper you with more and more obligations to them.

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